Tired and Broken
by Charlottepriestly
Summary: Miranda and Andrea are close, so close. But not close enough. When Andy cuts and runs, Miranda has no other option but to follow. Because when you find love like this, love that can break you so painfully and rebuild you so beautifully, you have to do everything in your power to keep it.
1. Tired

Andrea Sachs felt tired.

She had been feeling tired for a while now.

She knew that she should have refused when she had the chance, she should have done the right thing. Except there was one small problem.

She could never refuse Miranda.

Everything had started about 2 months ago, when this... this _affair_ began.

Andy knew perfectly well that she shouldn't think about her boss the way she did. But, truth be told, she couldn't stop herself. Ever since Paris she had been paying very close attention to Miranda. Soon it came to the point where Miranda was all Andy could really think about. And after the dreams began, Andy could no longer deny that her feelings for her unreachable boss were strong and deep. Everyday for 5 months, she tried her very best to please the silver-haired goddess. She worked endless hours, night and day, in order to make sure that she wouldn't disappoint her. Andy did everything she could to cast her feelings aside, and simply do her job. That is what Miranda needed.

So imagine her surprise when one evening after everyone had gone home, Miranda called her into her office. Andy still shuddered every time she thought about that encounter.

 _"Yes, Miranda?"_

 _"Close the door, Andrea," Miranda commanded, not looking up from her work._

 _Trying not to let her nervousness show, Andy did as told, then waited with bated breath for Miranda to keep speaking. When blue eyes finally looked up into Andy's, the assistant's legs nearly bucked beneath her. Miranda's eyes were darker than usual, more piercing, gazing into Andy's for long moments._

 _"Sit down, Andrea."_

 _Glad to be off her shaky legs, Andy almost rushed forward to sit on the chair, feeling completely clueless and lost as to what this could possibly be about. But then Miranda spoke, and Andy's breath caught in her throat, and time stopped as Andy processed Miranda's words._

 _"Have dinner with me."_

 _Blue eyes patiently waited for Andy to compose herself as the young woman struggled to understand the situation._

 _"Sorry?" Andy finally managed to utter, eyes still wide in disbelief._

 _"Have dinner with me," Miranda calmly repeated herself._

 _Andy had no idea what the hell was going on. This had to be a dream, it couldn't possibly be real. Had she fallen asleep at her desk?_

 _"Erm, why?" Andy cringed. Emily's voice hissing 'You never ask Miranda anything!' rang in her ears before she dismissed the nagging voice. Miranda had just asked her to dinner, and Andy was damn well going to ask her why._

 _"Is that not what people usually do when there is a mutual attraction between them?"_

 _Andy's jaw dropped, and she felt herself going pale. Her heart was beating so hard in the confines of her chest, she was sure Miranda could hear it._

 _"Oh, yes," Miranda continued, noting the shocked expression of her employee, and yet retaining a look of calm and almost boredom about her. "I have noticed certain things, Andrea. I am not blind, after all. I've seen the way you look at me, and how hard you work that little head of yours in order to attend to my every need." Miranda leaned back in her chair, resting her elbows on the armrests and lacing her fingers together. She looked at the speechless brunette across from her before continuing, a predatory smirk adorning her lips. "Tell me, Andrea. Would you like to take your work further, and fulfil all my needs?"_

The rest of that evening had been spent in a haze. Andy hadn't even been able to answer the question. Miranda dismissed her, telling her that she should stay at the townhouse after brining the book if she wished to take Miranda up on the offer of "fulfil all her needs". As she walked back to her desk on very shaky legs, Andy tried to pull herself together as much as she could. Maybe she was taking what Miranda had said out of context? Maybe she hadn't meant it in a sexual way? After Miranda left, Andy had spent the rest of the evening taking calming deep breaths, trying to focus and not jump to conclusion. It was perfectly possible that Miranda really hadn't meant anything by it.

Merely two hours later, Andy would have laughed at how ridiculous her mind had been for trying to dismiss the obvious. Especially when she found herself pressed up against the wall of the townhouse entrance by a very eager Miranda. Andy hadn't laughed though, because her lips were too busy exploring Miranda's. The only sounds she was able to make for the next two hours were gasps and moans and wails of pleasure.

So the months had passed, filled with hot, rough sex with Miranda. Andy was very pleased with that, because it turns out that the 'Snow Queen' wasn't icy at all. On the contrary, whenever they were together, Andy found that Miranda's skin was hot and smooth, burning with lust beneath her fingertips. It was very satisfying: it was unusual for a day to pass in which they didn't devour each other. It normally happened at Miranda's house when the twins were with their father, or at Andy's apartment. Although there were many occasions (many, many occasions) in which Andy would find herself bent over Miranda's desk at the office, or on her knees going down on Miranda while her boss sat on her regal chair. Those were Andy's favourite times, and it appeared they were Miranda's too, since it was at Runway where she had the best orgasms. They had done it in the closet too, and in Miranda's private bathroom, and in the kitchen on the outer office, and once they had even been about to go at it in the elevator. So yes, the sex was good. _Very_ good. Andy never thought she could have so much pleasure from someone else's body, but Miranda did things to her that she couldn't really explain.

There was a problem, though, and it was starting to really get to Andy. She knew it shouldn't bother her, because, hell, she was having hot, sweaty, animalistic sex with Miranda Priestly almost on a daily basis. But there was an emptiness inside Andy that she could no longer ignore, and it was getting worse. Every time she had to put on her clothes and leave Miranda's house, or when she watched Miranda turn to leave Andy's apartment, or when she was dismissed from Miranda's office like she hadn't just been down on her knees giving the woman pleasure; every time any of those things happened, Andy could feel something in her chest constrict, and her stomach grew heavy, and suddenly all the pleasure of their wonderful encounters left Andy's body feeling tired and unfulfilled.

Andy often found herself daydreaming, wishing that she could take Miranda out to dinner and hold her hand across the table. She wished she could take Miranda dancing and hold her close as they swayed to the slow music. She wished that she could fall asleep in Miranda's arms after being together. She wished Miranda wouldn't treat her like an assistant every day, because it killed Andy to see Miranda in 'Dragon Lady' mode only hours after said lady had been holding onto Andy's body and crying out in pleasure. She wished they made love, instead of all the raw fucking they did. Most of all, she wished Miranda _cared_.

And that was the problem, right? Miranda didn't care, and she never would. Andy was there for one purpose and one purpose alone: to give Miranda the pleasure she needed. Andy guessed that, now that Stephen had moved out, and with the stress from the divorce proceedings and the press, Miranda needed a way to release tension or whatever. Andy really didn't know why Miranda was doing any of this, because Miranda could have anyone she wanted, and Andy didn't really feel worthy of Miranda, not really.

But, alas, we return to the main problem of this whole ordeal. No matter what Miranda did or her reasons for doing it, Andy could never refuse Miranda.

So even though Miranda was still technically married, and even though Andy would never be able to take Miranda to a romantic dinner and dancing, even though Andy would never fall asleep with the woman in her arms, even though Miranda didn't care, Andy would still do as Miranda wished, taking the scraps of anything she could get. Because Andy was afraid that the truth had finally caught up with her.

She was falling in love with Miranda Priestly.


	2. Broken

Over 3 months after the _affair_ began, Andy Sachs didn't feel tired.

She felt broken.

Only one month ago, she had been sure that she would do anything Miranda wanted. She would continue with this affair. She would continue to do her job as Miranda's assistant like nothing else ever happened between them.

Lately, however, Andy was feeling less and less sure about the whole thing.

She had come to realise that the emptiness in her chest wasn't emptiness at all. The feeling she got whenever she and Miranda parted ways was actually her heart slowly breaking, because she could never have the woman the way she really wanted. And that hurt Andy more than she had expected.

As a little girl, Andy's dream had always been to find a handsome prince who would love her more than anyone in the world. They would get married and have children, and he would be the most caring husband and a wonderful father, and Andy would spend the rest of her life with the love of her life.

That dream had remained in her heart for years, and survived even after Nate left her.

Until Miranda.

When Miranda came and stole her heart, all Andy could do was watch as that dream crumbled. Because something told her that, no matter how much time passed, no matter how many handsome princes she met, she would never truly get over Miranda, the queen of her heart.

It was rather sad, Andy couldn't help but think, how such an innocent dream had burned to flames so easily, just because of one person. She had always been a hopeful girl, always optimistic and never letting anything take the smile from her face.

Oh, how things changed.

Now, Andy had lost hope, because Miranda had taken her and broken her, and Andy knew that she would never really be whole again.

Seeing Miranda in the throes of passion filled Andy up with an inexplicable warm feeling, very akin to love, but Andy refused to label it. She always watched as Miranda came, because it was the most beautiful sight she had ever had the fortune to lay eyes on. Despite how much she loved watching Miranda come undone, it was getting very difficult for Andy to keep her sanity after every encounter.

Last night, after their latest encounter on Miranda's bed, Andy had cried during her after glow, because Miranda had fiercely taken her, and Andy had given her everything. But when the wave of warm pleasure had passed, Andy had felt an emptiness so piercing, so painful, that she hadn't been able to hold back the tears. She wished they were making love. She had covered her eyes with her hand, hoping Miranda was too distracted to notice Andy was breaking down. Luckily, Miranda had crawled up the bed and laid down without glancing at her companion, giving a great sigh of contentment, and had closed her eyes ready to go to sleep, knowing Andy would show herself out. Andy had taken the chance to stand and dress herself as quickly as she could manage. With tears clouding her vision, she was out the door without a word to Miranda. It was a good thing too, because the second Andy was out in the hallway, the sobs had torn through her chest, and she hadn't managed to quite stifle them. Without glancing back, she rushed down the stairs and out the door into the cold night.

It was Saturday, and Andy was not needed at Runway. And thank God for that, because she had barely gotten any sleep last night after her breakdown at Miranda's house. When she had finally gotten home, she had only managed to close the door before falling to the floor, hugging her knees against her aching chest and leaning against the cool wall. She had cried for hours, and only managed to drag herself into bed before succumbing to her tears again. This morning, her eyes were bloodshot and swollen, and Andy could barely look at her reflection in the mirror.

She couldn't do this anymore.

She was in too deep, and she felt like she couldn't breathe, and she wanted to run away. She wished that oblivion would consume her, take away the memories of Miranda that plagued her mind.

It was killing Andy to have Miranda close, but not close enough. They never talked about anything, they never met up to simply have each other's company, they never even had dinner together. Anytime they met, it was sex from beginning to end. And then at Runway, they reverted back to boss and assistant, Miranda cold, distant and ruthless, treating Andy with harsh disdain, giving her impossible tasks, pushing Andy to her limits. Unless Miranda stayed after hours and they fucked somewhere in the building, there was no difference in their working relationship whatsoever.

Andy couldn't help feeling like she was some sort of sex toy, always at Miranda's beck and call. When Miranda whistled, Andy came to her, offering her body for the taking. Andy wanted more than that, so much more than that. She wanted to love Miranda, make her happy, make the woman smile. She wanted to see blue eyes filled with love and warmth. She wanted to share dinners and deep conversations and share secrets and fears and passions. She wanted so much, and everything was out of her reach. She had fallen desperately in love with the impossible, and Andy felt she would go mad if she didn't do something soon.

Standing from her place in the sofa, she reached for her phone and made the call, before she could doubt herself.

...-...

Miranda woke slowly, stretching languidly in bed. She glanced at the empty space next to her.

 _She should be here with me._

Sighing, Miranda shook her head to rid herself of that thought.

Rolling out of bed, Miranda was surprised to read 9 am on her alarm clock. She never slept in, she was usually up very early in the mornings. These past months, however, had found Miranda spending a lot of energy in certain... activities. Miranda smirked lightly at the thought, then frowned. Remembering last night, she bit her lip worriedly.

Andrea had been acting very strange last night during their little encounter. She had seemed tense, and was quieter than usual. And of course there was the crying. Miranda had noticed tears on the young woman's soft cheeks. Not wanting to embarrass Andrea, and knowing she had never been particularly skilled at comforting others, Miranda had acted as if she hadn't seen them. However, a deep worry settled on her chest. She remained with her eyes firmly closed as she listened to the sounds of Andrea hurriedly moving around the room, no doubt desperate to leave her presence.

When Miranda heard Andrea's heart-wrenching sobs, Miranda's chest had constricted, and she had had to grip the sheets beneath her in order to keep herself from rushing after the woman. She wanted nothing more than to wipe the tears from Andrea's eyes, to know what had caused them, to hold her while she cried.

Miranda had felt the urge to cry herself. Scrunching her eyes tightly shut and biting her lip, she had miraculously kept the tears at bay. But nothing could release the tightness she felt in her chest.

It was not fair.

Nothing about this was fair. Miranda wanted so much more, but there were so many elements working against her strongest desires. If anybody found out - Stephen of the press or _anyone_ \- then the divorce would get a lot more complicated, her job could be compromised, and her girls would suffer another press scandal. Not to mention that she highly doubted Andrea wanted to be with her in any way other than physical. To be brutally honest with herself, that fact hurt Miranda more than anything else had in her entire life.

Andrea was so young, so bright and full of light. She would never be interested in someone like _her_ , an old, ruthless bitch who was called the Dragon Lady for a reason. Except Miranda wasn't that. Not really. Not the _real_ her. If only Andrea could see that, maybe Miranda had a small chance of winning the young woman. But again there was the problem of the age between them, and the fact that Andrea simply would not fall for her. With two divorces, and no friends or close family other than her daughters, Miranda had more than enough proof that she was an impossible, unlovable person. It was just the way things were. This affair with Andrea would end when the young woman got tired of her, or when she found someone that could give her better things than Miranda. Miranda knew that, no matter how much she tried, she herself would never find another. Andrea was her last chance, but she would not force the young woman into anything. She already felt like Andrea only did this because Miranda was her boss, she didn't want to push Andrea further and end up losing her altogether.

So, even though it hurt Miranda to be unable to have the relationship she truly wanted with Andrea, she settled for having as much of the woman as she could. Miranda knew that the only possible end to all this was pain and loneliness, because when Andrea moved on with her life onto better things, Miranda would be left hollow and empty, but she didn't have much option. It was simply impossible to have a relationship - a proper relationship - right now, because of the divorce and the press and her job, and how her daughters would be affected by it all. It was also impossible to have a relationship in the future, because who was she kidding? Miranda Priestly simply didn't deserve Andrea Sachs, and she didn't stand a chance with the woman of her dreams. But no matter what her future might bring because of this affair, Miranda simply could not give up what she had with Andrea. It was as much as she would get, and she would not let it go.

Sighing, Miranda went about her morning routine, trying her best to keep thoughts of Andrea away from her mind.

And failing miserably.

...-...

Miranda made her way through the house. It was so quiet without the girls around, since they were with their father this weekend. Miranda hated it when they weren't there, because the house became a little too big and a little too silent, and it made Miranda realise just how lonely she really was. She had no one, except her children.

And Andrea.

But that didn't really count, did it? No, because what they had was simply sex, nothing more, nothing less. Miranda couldn't afford to have more, and she couldn't possibly hope for anything else to come from this affair. Besides, sooner or later Andrea would leave, just like everybody else did, and Miranda would be completely alone once again.

Walking past the entrance, something on the carpet caught her eye.

Miranda walked over to the door and reached down, picking up the white envelope.

There was no address on it, just her name written in very familiar writing.

With dread settling in her gut, Miranda walked into the den, quickly taking a seat in her usual chair and tearing at the envelope. Once she finally got the letter out, tears clouded her eyes as she read through it.

 _Dear Miranda,_

 _I'm sorry I can't do this in person. I wish I could, I wish I was brave enough, but I'm not, so this is the best way I could think of. Granted, my mind isn't in its best state right now so this is probably a bad idea after all, I can't really know at the moment. Actually, my mind hasn't been in its best state for some time now. And, ultimately, I guess it's because of you._

 _I don't want to make you feel bad or anything. It's all my fault, and I'm not blaming you for any of it. I got caught up in you, and somehow lost myself to you along the way. You didn't just take my body, Miranda. You've taken my heart and soul as well. And it's been killing me. I felt like I was committing a slow suicide. I have loved every moment that we have spent together. Believe me when I say that there is nobody else that will ever be able to make me feel the way you do. You have given me so much, but you have taken so much from me too. It probably sounds ridiculous, and I'm sure this letter will probably go in the trash when you finish with it. Or maybe you won't even finish it, I don't know. I just know that I want you, all of you._

 _I want to be with you, properly, and not just to be used as a sort of sex toy that will come to you every time you want it. I want to talk to you, learn things about you, be a person you can open up to. I want to make you smile, and maybe even laugh. I want to hold you close through the night, and to show you my favourite places in the world. I want to give you all my love freely, to kiss you and touch you whenever I wish, because you are so beautiful most days I can barely restrain myself. I want to make you happy, Miranda. That is my greatest desire, and it will never be fulfilled, will it?_

 _Believe me, I know how unworthy I am of all of that. But a girl can dream, right? The problem is that I've had glimpses of what that life could be like, and it kills me to know that it is completely and helplessly out of my reach. It's pain like I have never known before._

 _Which is why I can no longer do this. I'm sorry, Miranda. I'm sorry for being a disappointment to you. You'll never understand how much it hurts me to know that I've disappointed you once again. I can't work at Runway anymore, and I can't see you again. I won't survive it._

 _I'm not sure where I'll go, so I doubt we'll be in contact again. I hope you have a good life, Miranda, because you deserve love and happiness and joy. I hope you find it. God, I hope you find it._

 _With all my love,_

 _Andrea_

With trembling hands, Miranda set the letter down, quickly bringing her fingers to press against her lips when a sob threatened to escape. She could feel the tears burning trails down her cheeks, and she could do nothing but surrender to them.

Andrea was gone.

She leaned forwards, wrapping her arms around herself, trying to ease the pain in her stomach. The first sob finally broke through her lips, quickly followed by many others. Her body shook and trembled, and she could feel nausea begin to stir her insides. But nothing was like the pain in her chest, like she was being torn in two.

Andrea was gone.


	3. Recovery

Gasping, Miranda tried to get air back, quickly beginning to hyperventilate in her efforts to get herself together.

"Oh, God," she sobbed to the empty room, the pain making its way through her chest, cutting and slicing at her. _"Andrea."_

Time passed, she wasn't entirely sure how much, but she knew she had to do something.

 _All this time, and she had felt that way too..._

She couldn't let this pass. She knew that Andrea was the one, she knew it in her very heart that all the love and happiness and joy would only come into her life if Andrea was a part of it. Wiping away her tears, Miranda pushed aside her pain and her fear of never getting Andrea back, and she moved into action. She quickly went to get her sunglasses and her purse, and was out the front door in no time. She hailed a cab with ease, and gave him Andrea's address.

...-...

No matter how much Miranda knocked on Andrea's door, there was no answer.

"Andrea?" She begged once more. She had lost count how many times she had called out to the woman. "Andrea, please open the door. Andrea!"

"She's not in."

Miranda whirled around to see an old woman leaving the apartment next to Andrea's.

"Well," Miranda cleared her throat, trying to get her heart to slow down. "Do you know where she is?"

"No, but she won't be back, I can tell you that, dear."

"What? Why?"

The lady shrugged.

"I don't know. She was a nice girl, that one. Always kept quiet, never caused any problems. But this morning when I was leaving I saw her moving out. She was carrying all her things in boxes, and the landlord was with her. I think they must have been talking about her sudden departure."

As she listened, Miranda felt her breathing falter, and the heavy weight of dread was back to torment her stomach. She nodded at the woman.

"Thank you."

Before the woman could respond, Miranda was rushing down the stairs, not even bothering to take the elevator. When she got outside, she dialled her assistant.

"Emily, I need you to find Andrea. It is of the utmost importance that you find her. Go to the police department and have her phone tracked for all I care. Just find her. If you fail to do so, you will be without a job, and blacklisted from any fashion publication. Get to work immediately. That's all."

Before the Englishwoman was able to answer, Miranda disconnected the call, and next rung Nigel.

"Hello, Miranda," His voice came through the line.

"Nigel, do you know where Andrea is?"

"Erm, what?"

"Andrea, Nigel. Andrea Sachs. She will not answer her phone, and I want to know where she is. And don't lie to me, or you will be fired. Is she with you?"

"Miranda, calm down. She's not with me."

Miranda was about to hang up the phone, ready to cry from despair, when Nigel kept talking.

"I know some of her friends though. I could ask them, if you want?"

Miranda sighed, knowing this was better than nothing.

"Yes, Nigel, please do that."

There was shocked silence on the other line, as Miranda never used the word 'please'.

"Erm," Nigel cleared his throat. "Sure, Miranda. I'll get right to it."

"Thank you."

Not waiting for a response, Miranda hung up. There was nothing to do but wait.

...-...

10 minutes later, Nigel called. Miranda could barely swallow around the nervous lump in her throat.

"Well?" She asked, unwilling to waste a second longer than necessary.

"She's with her friend Doug. I've asked for his address, so you could go over there if you like. I can text you his number in case you'd like to call him, too."

Miranda barely kept herself from crying in relief.

"Yes, text me all the information. Thank you, Nigel."

"No problem," the man answered, his incredulity at Miranda showing gratefulness clearly conveyed in his voice.

A few seconds later, Miranda received the text and wasted no time in calling the number Nigel had sent her. A man's voice answered on the fourth ring.

"Hello?"

"Hello. Is this Douglas?"

"Erm, yes, this is he."

"This is Miranda Priestly calling. I understand Andrea is in your apartment? In that case, do not say a word to her that you are on the phone with me. I wish to speak to her alone. Are you willing to help?"

"Oh, yeah." The young man sounded eager, as if he didn't need to hear the whole story in order to get involved. _Andrea has probably told him already_ , she thought.

"Good. Now, listen closely. I need you to convince her to leave your home for a while. Say you have a surprise for her or something, I don't care what you do, I need you to get her to my house, understood? Tie her up and drag her here if you must. I will send you the address. Just bring her to me. It is crucial that I speak with her."

"Yeah, I think I can manage that."

"Good. I'll be in my house in fifteen minutes."

"Okay, don't worry about it. I'll manage things here."

"Thank you, Douglas."

"No problem."

She hung up and quickly hailed a taxi. She had to get home as soon as possible. The sooner she's there, the sooner she'll talk to Andrea.

 _Oh, God, please let me have another chance._


	4. Love

Miranda didn't even wait for the doorbell to ring before she flung her door open. She had been waiting by the window, awaiting the arrival of Andrea, since she got home fifteen minutes earlier. It was all she could do to keep herself from flinging herself into the young woman's arms. As it was, Andrea was indisposed in her current position. Douglas was carrying the young brunette over his shoulder as if she weighed nothing, and by Doug's flinch and the thwack that sounded from his back, Miranda could easily guess that Andrea had punched him in protestation of his manhandling.

"Doug, put me down right now." Andrea's voice sounded stern, and tired, and uncharacteristically weak compared to its usual cheerful melody. Miranda felt her stomach drop just at the sound of it. _Have I done this to her?_

Miranda opened the door wider to let the man in. The minute he was in the foyer, he put his friend down on the floor. After giving a small grunt of relief, he quickly turned, nodded at Miranda, then swiftly left the house.

After closing the door behind him, Miranda turned to Andrea, who was looking straight at her with hollow eyes. Miranda gulped, because Andrea's beautiful, usually vivid brown eyes were expressionless, and there was a slight puffiness and redness around the lids that proved to her that the young woman had been crying.

Not knowing what to say, Miranda tentatively stepped towards Andrea, only to have her finch and step back. She watched, helpless, as Andrea wrapped her arms around her torso, as if trying to protect herself from Miranda, and her gaze fell to the floor. She looked so vulnerable, so broken, that Miranda's heart shrunk at the sight.

"Andrea..." Miranda swallowed, not knowing where to start. "May we talk?"

Andy nodded slightly. It was hard to face Miranda, because even though she was hurting, the woman still managed to make her heart speed up, and she felt the indescribable urge to go towards the woman, wrap herself in strong arms, bury her face in the soft neck. She wished she could leave, because Miranda's presence was wreaking havoc with Andy's emotions. She couldn't look at the woman, so she carefully kept her gaze on the floor. This house smelled so much like her, like Miranda, and she could barely swallow around the lump in her throat. She was going to really miss this house, and all the memories she had here of the two of them together.

Miranda took a deep breath. She had no idea what she could say or do to make things right. She was losing hope, because she knew she had hurt Andrea, and she was never very good with people in the first place. Hope was slowly leaving her the more she gazed at the broken woman before her. She cleared her throat slightly, and then led the way into the den, hearing Andrea's soft footsteps following her. Miranda took her favourite seat, trying to push away the memory of a certain encounter with Andrea in this very room. Andrea sat on the love seat before her, still not lifting her gaze. Not being able to look upon the brown eyes was getting to Miranda.

"Won't you look at me?" She whispered. Her voice sounded raspy, even to her own ears. Her emotions were clearly getting the better of her.

Instead of looking up, Andrea simply closed her eyes. Miranda could see Andrea's hands shaking where they held her own torso. The young woman took a deep breath.

"What did you want to say to me, Miranda?"

Andy was dreading the answer. She knew she was being ridiculous, and she honestly didn't know what to expect from the woman. Perhaps she would laugh at her? Or maybe blacklist her? Maybe she would taunt Andy until she completely broke down? Her thoughts were cut short by Miranda's next words, which caught her completely off guard.

"I'm sorry, Andrea."

Andrea's eyes shot open, looking at Miranda with disbelief and confusion.

"I'm sorry for the pain that I've caused you," Miranda continued. "I promise you, it was never my intention. I wish there was a way to explain everything, but I find myself rather speechless when it comes to you."

Andrea stared at her for several moments longer, before she visibly swallowed and let out a shaky breath before speaking.

"Will you try? Please?"

Miranda sighed. Brown eyes pleaded with her, because it was clear her Andrea was confused, and probably scared, and clearly very hurt.

"When I hired you," she began, hoping she could rectify things by explaining everything from the very beginning. "I knew you were different. You were like nobody else I had ever met. I could see great potential in you, but also great compassion and empathy for others. That is extremely rare for me to come across in this world. It didn't take me long to realise that you are a remarkable person, Andrea. You are special, and unique, and I was drawn to that. But I also wanted to see if that uniqueness would break. I pushed your limits, giving you impossible assignments, and you surpassed all my expectations every time.

Then Paris happened. You gave me compassion and sympathy when I didn't deserve it. You listened when I was at my weakest, and you never used it against me, never told any other person about what you saw and heard me say. Nobody has ever done that for me before. Nobody has ever looked at me with empathy in their eyes, nobody stayed with me and listened when I was feeling down, nobody offered any sort of help. You did. And you once again proved to me that you are a special person, beyond anything I imagined. And I was truly surprised by your loyalty, how hard you tried to warn me of Irv's plans. Had it been any other person, I'm sure they would have left me in order to join Jacqueline once she took control. You didn't. You wanted to help me keep my position. You showed more loyalty to me than anyone else I've ever had in my life. Even my husbands." Miranda gave a small, amused snort, then shook her head sadly.

"After that, no matter what I did, you were always somewhere on the back of my mind. I started noticing you more, and I thought about you so much I felt I was going insane. I felt this pull towards you, like my happiness depended on you alone." She paused, looking deep into teary brown eyes. "It does, Andrea. My happiness depends on you."

At hearing this statement, Andrea closed her eyes, a tear escaping and slowly sliding down her cheek.

Andy's emotions were at war, caught up in a hurricane of chaos. She wanted to believe Miranda's words. She had never seen Miranda's eyes so sincere, so gentle, but Andy was having a difficult time accepting Miranda's words. She didn't think she was as special as the older woman was making her to be. And when Miranda declared that her happiness depended on Andy, she could barely draw breath.

Her whirling thoughts were cut short as she heard rustling movement, and then a warm hand was reaching for her hands, disentangling them from their position around Andy's body. The other soft hand cupped Andy's cheek, the thumb wiping away her tears. Andy fluttered her eyes open, and the image before her was so beautiful her breath caught in her chest. Miranda was sitting on the floor before her, a soft expression on her face, her warm and sincere eyes looking up at her with something very akin to affection.

"Andrea, I needed you in my life, as more than my assistant. I tried to control it, because I knew that there was no chance you would ever want me the same way. Until one day I caught you gazing at me. You didn't even notice. I caught your reflection on my mirror in the office, and I saw you gazing at me with an expression so filled with longing that in that moment I knew I had to take a chance. So I did."

Miranda's eyes filled with regret, and she gazed down, looking away from Andrea.

"I am truly sorry for what I put you through. I should have realised how it would make you feel, when all we did was," Miranda cleared her throat softly, sighing regretfully. "fuck. There was no relationship, nothing except sex. I wish I had done things differently, because I never meant to hurt you. That is the last thing I ever want to do, Andrea. But I didn't feel like I had any other choice. I was in the middle of my divorce, and I simply could not afford to have a serious relationship with anyone, because if anybody found out, the divorce would get much, much more complicated. I also wanted to keep it as secret as possible, because we could endanger both of our careers if anyone saw even a small change in our working relationship. And, finally, I wanted to shield my girls from it until the divorce was finalised and you and I could work things out properly. They've been through a lot lately, with the divorce and the press, I didn't want to burden them further."

Miranda looked back up at doe brown eyes.

"I knew that it was wrong, that I should have waited for the divorce to be final, and for you to be promoted into a different job. But I simply could not keep myself away from you. I tried, I really did. But you are irresistible, Andrea. You are my weakness."

Long moments of silence followed Miranda's speech. Miranda could barely breathe, sending silent prayers to whatever force of nature was out there to make things right. She couldn't lose Andrea, she simply couldn't. She would not be able to take it.

Andy, for her part, was processing all the information Miranda had just said. She recognised Miranda's valid arguments, realising that she was right about many of them. But still, Andy could not help but feel betrayed and hurt.

"Miranda," she cleared her throat, trying her best to steady her voice. "I understand what you're saying. But couldn't you have taken me into consideration? Why didn't you tell me all of this before? We barely even talked, all we did was have sex. Could we not have had this conversation at the beginning, so that I could understand all of this?"

Miranda sighed again, and lowered her gaze. She knew she had done things the wrong way. It was time to face up to it.

"I'm sorry, Andrea. You're absolutely right, of course. I should have taken you into account. You had the right to know about everything, we should have talked and come to an agreement. I now realise what a total bitch I was. I'm sorry, it was never my intention to dismiss you in all this. You are a person with the right to know what was happening, and I should have taken your feelings into account. After I read your letter, I realised just how badly I treated you, like some sort of sex slave. I wish I had realised sooner, because you were never that to me, Andrea. I deeply regret doing that to you. But, at the time, I barely even realised. I couldn't think straight. I was so consumed by you, I could barely function when I was around you, much less process the consequences of what I was doing. It took a lot of effort not to take you whenever I saw you. And even then, there were many days at work when I gave into my desires. But that is no excuse. I've never been very good with people, it's one of the reasons I'm so ruthless. I've never had a lot of emotional connections with people. The only people that I've loved more than life itself was my father, my girls, and you, Andrea. Not my husbands, not my so called friends. No one."

Andy's heart jumped in her chest and her eyes grew wide. Love? Did Miranda Priestly just confess she loved her? Before she could keep control of her mouth, Andy spoke.

"You love me?"

Miranda looked up, eyes softening further, and a small smile gracing her lips. She caressed Andy's cheek with the back of her fingers.

"Yes, Andrea. I love you. I have loved you for quite some time." The smile wavered before disappearing, and blue eyes turned sad. "I just wish I had gone about it the right way. I would understand if you still wish to leave and never see me again. I will let you go, Andrea, if that is what you wish. It will kill me, but I will completely understand. I have treated you in a terrible manner, and I will never forgive myself for it."

Andy closed her eyes, leaning into the caress on her cheek. Her mind was telling her that what Miranda did was wrong, and she should be angry. But her heart was thumping quickly, making itself heard. Andy knew in her heart that she could never truly leave Miranda behind. Her heart would never forget the silver-haired goddess. Besides, Miranda had explained and apologised, and even though it would take a while for Andy to trust her completely, she knew that Miranda was being sincere. When did Miranda allow herself to be vulnerable, completely bare with her emotions? When did Miranda apologise while literally being on her knees? When did she admit her actions had been wrong? Most of all, when did Miranda ever admit to loving anyone to the point she wouldn't be able to live without them?

When Andy opened her eyes, she saw Miranda's eyes looking up at her, tears tainting their blue beauty. She could see the hurt there, the regret, the dread that Miranda was feeling. Andy sighed, and lifted her hand up to trace a finger down Miranda's cheek down to the elegant jawline. Miranda's eyes fluttered close at the touch, and the tears that had been gathering in her eyes finally spilled forward, trailing down her smooth cheeks.

Andy leaned forward, catching one tear with her lips, kissing the trail away. Miranda sighed in something like relief, warmth and love flowing through her in strong waves.

"Andrea..." She whispered.

Before she could say anything else, warm lips touched hers, softly and gently, kissing her with such tenderness that Miranda felt like weeping. Just as softly, she returned the caress before Andrea pulled away. She gazed up into soft brown eyes, and the lips she had just been kissing turned into a beautiful smile that took Miranda's breath away.

"I forgive you, Miranda."

Miranda bit her lower lip, trying to stifle a sob that wanted to break through her. When a gentle hand cupped her cheek, and Andrea's eyes looked at her with love and understanding, the sob passed Miranda's lips. She cried in relief, leaning up to wrap her arms around her love. Andrea returned the embrace, pulling Miranda up from the floor into the loveseat before pulling her close. They stayed like that for several long moments, bodies melting together, hands softly caressing and running through strands of hair, hiding their faces in the other's necks, breathing in the each other's scent. They let their tears fall freely, feeling like everything was finally falling into place. Andy's pain was gone, because even though Miranda had not done things the right way, the woman had asked for forgiveness, and Miranda _loved_ her. That's all Andy could ask for.

When they finally drew apart, Miranda gently pulled Andy's hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear before cupping her cheek. She smiled soflty at the young woman.

"Would you mind starting over with me, darling? I want to do things properly this time."

Andy returned the smile and nodded gently.

"I'd love that Miranda."

Miranda's small smile grew into a blinding one that made Andy's heart jump. Miranda stood from the sofa and extended her hand, helping the young woman up along with her.

"Would you have an early dinner with me, Andrea? I'll cook."

Andy's smile grew further. She was going on a date with Miranda Priestly, it seemed.

"I would love that."

Together, they left the den and went to the kitchen, where Andy sat and watched as Miranda gracefully moved around, preparing a meal for the both of them. She could barely believe how much things had changed in so little time. Just a couple of hours earlier she had gone to Doug in desperate need of support, and had told him over lunch everything that happened. She had cried her eyes out, wishing she could tear her heart from her chest. Now, her heart was the happiest it had ever been, skipping a beat as Miranda turned her head from the stove and smiled at Andy. Yes, things were going to turn out wonderful.

That night, they wouldn't fuck. They would make love. And they would keep doing so for the rest of their lives, sharing a love so true, so pure, so deep, that no matter what would come their way, they would fight through it together. They would love each other until their last living breath. After all, a love like this is worth fighting for.


End file.
